Remember those nostalgic days when you were
in school and you were told to chase those straight As? How quickly a
perfectionist learns to live by the words “I’m so pleased, this term I
was top of my class ...” and to enjoy the thrill of impressing others —
and themselves — at the same time. A perfectionist would cry if they
only managed a B+ or ended up in second place.
in school and you were told to chase those straight As? How quickly a
perfectionist learns to live by the words “I’m so pleased, this term I
was top of my class ...” and to enjoy the thrill of impressing others —
and themselves — at the same time. A perfectionist would cry if they
only managed a B+ or ended up in second place.
Some children hated school,
but odds are that the perfectionist child loved it as his or her success
was quantifiable by the results of exams, assignments and teacher
feedback — particularly when they made the grade. The maxim of work hard
and success worked like a dream.
but odds are that the perfectionist child loved it as his or her success
was quantifiable by the results of exams, assignments and teacher
feedback — particularly when they made the grade. The maxim of work hard
and success worked like a dream.
However, those gold stars cansometimes cause a lifetime of frustration and personal dissatisfaction.
In the adult world, success is measured differently and, not being
structured in the same way as in school, there may well be times when
you miss the good old school days where an A+ was all that you needed to
aspired to.
Of course, there is
absolutely nothing wrong with trying to be perfect — after all, it is an
admirable quality to set high standards and to aim for excellence.
However, perfectionists can take excellence to a more stressful level
than those of mere high achievers.
absolutely nothing wrong with trying to be perfect — after all, it is an
admirable quality to set high standards and to aim for excellence.
However, perfectionists can take excellence to a more stressful level
than those of mere high achievers.
Perfectionists tend to worry
more, and sometimes enjoy life less because they reject anything that is
not perfect. In fact, the words “almost perfect” can be seen as a sign
of failure. Perfectionists are frequently aware that their constant aim
for high standards are stressful and possibly unrealistic, but they
believe that their drive towards super high levels of productivity
cannot otherwise be obtained.
not perfect. In fact, the words “almost perfect” can be seen as a sign
of failure. Perfectionists are frequently aware that their constant aim
for high standards are stressful and possibly unrealistic, but they
believe that their drive towards super high levels of productivity
cannot otherwise be obtained.
High achievers, on the other
hand, invariably enjoy the chase just as much as the actual achievement
of the goal itself. However, there are some perfectionists who just see
the goal and nothing else. They’re so concerned with avoiding failure
that they are unable to enjoy the satisfaction of the journey.
hand, invariably enjoy the chase just as much as the actual achievement
of the goal itself. However, there are some perfectionists who just see
the goal and nothing else. They’re so concerned with avoiding failure
that they are unable to enjoy the satisfaction of the journey.
Are you a perfectionist? Here are some identifying traits:
* Want all-or-nothing
Perfectionists — similar to
high achievers — tend to set very high goals and constantly work hard
towards reaching their stated targets. However, there is a difference
between the two personality types. High achievers will do their utmost
to work to the best of their capability and be satisfied with results
even if they don’t reach 100 per cent. However, a perfectionist will
usually accept nothing less than 110 per cent of the goal and has little
empathy with any lesser standard.
high achievers — tend to set very high goals and constantly work hard
towards reaching their stated targets. However, there is a difference
between the two personality types. High achievers will do their utmost
to work to the best of their capability and be satisfied with results
even if they don’t reach 100 per cent. However, a perfectionist will
usually accept nothing less than 110 per cent of the goal and has little
empathy with any lesser standard.
*Driven to perfection
You know that your drive to
perfection is not necessarily helping your career path or even your
relationships, but you consider it is the price that you pay for
success. The prototypical perfectionist is someone who will go even to
unhealthy lengths to avoid being average, and the pursuit of success at
any cost can frequently be linked to a workaholic, obsessive
personality.
perfection is not necessarily helping your career path or even your
relationships, but you consider it is the price that you pay for
success. The prototypical perfectionist is someone who will go even to
unhealthy lengths to avoid being average, and the pursuit of success at
any cost can frequently be linked to a workaholic, obsessive
personality.
*Find it hard to communicate
Perfectionists often develop a
shield to protect themselves from failure, but it can also get in the
way of connecting with others. Because of an intense fear of failure,
perfectionists usually feel the need to be strong and in control of
their emotions.
shield to protect themselves from failure, but it can also get in the
way of connecting with others. Because of an intense fear of failure,
perfectionists usually feel the need to be strong and in control of
their emotions.
* Extra defensive
Because a performance setback
can be difficult to accept, a perfectionist will tend to take
constructive criticism defensively, while high achievers see criticism
as valuable feedback.
can be difficult to accept, a perfectionist will tend to take
constructive criticism defensively, while high achievers see criticism
as valuable feedback.
* Having unrealistic standards
The goals of a perfectionist are often set so unreasonably high by themselves that they are frequently out of reach.
If you identify with
some of these traits, however, don’t despair. Recognising that a change
in attitude may be needed is an important first step towards creating a
less obsessive nature and achieving the inner peace and real success
that comes from overcoming obsessive perfectionism and being able to say
that “almost perfect’ is still a job well done.
some of these traits, however, don’t despair. Recognising that a change
in attitude may be needed is an important first step towards creating a
less obsessive nature and achieving the inner peace and real success
that comes from overcoming obsessive perfectionism and being able to say
that “almost perfect’ is still a job well done.
Remember:
* A 100 per cent result is not always necessary or even realistic.
* Perfectionism can be an obsessive trait that can fail to give optimum results.
* Set your targets high and strive to meet them, but not at any cost.
CREDIT: The writer is CEO of an international stress management consultancy and author of ‘Show Stress Who’s Boss!’.
Being content with near perfection | GulfNews.com
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